AEROSMITH Frontman Checks In From The Road

AEROSMITH frontman Steven Tyler has posted the following message on the AeroforceOne.com web site:

"ST here. I've been dyin' to do this......

"I've never done this before, in the way that Joey [Kramer] and Tom [Hamilton] have, but I'm coming to you live in Chicago, where I'm resting up for our next show on Thursday. Toronto was beyond slammin' — I never kissed so many girls with birthdays — I'm startin' to wonder?!... I also kinda lay back on the lip thing 'cause I'm afraid of catching the weasles and sneezles.

"I'd like you all to know what kind of detail I'm into. Left the stage, did a runner, sat in the van backstage with the police car's lights spinning. The two seconds I have, before we take off in the procession — I have Liz (my backstage girl) take my pants off. NO, NOT WHAT YOU'RE THINKING!... because they're stage clothes, they stay there. She grabs my sneakers too, hands me a carrot, beet, and apple juice in a large glass which I down immediately — then the police sirens go on and we whiz past the fans. I roll the window down and give em' all a hi-sign, which I can't help but do and they scream as we fly by. The times I've had my kids with me, like in Boston, Chelsea and Taj freak out at this.

"Then it was off to the airport where we had a bit of a delay. The driver, Micksy, taught us a thing about blood pudding and haggis. Obviously he was Scottish, and he wouldn't stop talking about soccer. Soccer? I didn't even know her! And we also talked about liquor.

"Write back if you get that.

"We got to the airport in Toronto, only to find Kramer and our good friend Chappy (from the Showtime series 'Brotherhood', who flew up to see us, and our new bass player for now, David Hull) getting clearance to take off to Boston. However, we weren't so lucky. Seems that Ole Man winter was hitting Chicago hard, even the people in the traffic control tower were told to evacuate. So we couldn't leave for two hours.

"We sat in the lobby eating chicken sandwiches, talkin' bout the girls in the front row and the guy who proposed to his girlfriend, while she was lookin' at me, telling me she loved me during the show. I actually stuck the mic in his face, and he asked her over the house system between 'Elevator' and 'Sweet Emotion'...AND IT WAS... I hope they live happily ever after... We on the other hand, got sent to a different airport and then on to Chicago. Only to arrive, at the hotel around 4 am... only to get to sleep by 5 am... and then up at 1 pm. Now this is supposed to be a no-talk day for me... but there's the gym,... Barneys... Johnny Rockets... and an NA meeting.

"Tomorrow's a free day, we'll be walkin' all over Chicago streets. And Thursday we eat Chicago.

"It's the world. Which is now called First Midwest Bank center. Which we've only played a skillion times. And I promise this time will be better than any of them.

"Joe Perry has been OUT OF HIS MIND lately. Jumpin up on Joey's drum set and he and I have been getting along real good lately and you know what that means.

"Thanks for the inquiries about the HEP C. It is non-detectable in my blood stream, took 11 months of hell but I got through it. Kept busy during that time singing 'Smile' with Chris Boti, and the SANTANA song and video, and also co-produced with Marti Frederiksen, the album, AEROSMITH — 'Rockin the Joint, Live at the Hard Rock Hotel'. Which by the way I believe is the BEST LIVE AEROSMITH ALBUM OF ALL TIME!!!

"Marti and I were halfway through it and I found the room mic fader by mistake by leaning on it... and there was the magic...

"And can you believe Tommy Lee??!?!?! I was up in his room in Toronto, bullshittin'... and he told me 'Tomorrow's my birthday, and I'll give you oral sex if I can play the drums on 'Last Child'. That would be the best birthday present I ever got.' He talked to Kramer backstage, and WA..LA!!! We shoulda played 'Big Ten Inch' but he slammed 'Last Child'. I passed on the oral sex, LOL! But I love that boy, he was born with a horsehoe up his ass, and we both know it. OUCH!

"It's times like that that make me black 'n' blue from pinching myself. Lenny Kravitz just called me to say hi, and said to say hey to you guys!

"I'll be checkin' in after Chicago. I've been out here with Casey (he did the 'Rockin the Joint' DVD) doin' something I've wanted to do forever. I'm documenting myself from morning to night and spend hours talking into the lens — and this is just an extension of that.

"You know how big my mouth is... and this is just the beginning. 'Cause this is not just my take... it's the truth."